The homeless problem hits Redhill

I was just outside the Harlequin cinema last night, waiting for my old pal from work David to show up. We'd planned to check out this new Simpsons Movie that everyone in the office seems to be raving about, just to finally set the record straight over whether it's really worth all the hype or not.

Well, David was late as usual, so old muggins here was left outside twiddling his thumbs. Typical. One thing you can always rely on David for is that he's going to be a bit late. I thought he might send a quick text to let me know where he was, but no. Not a peep. Tried calling him, but his bloody phone was switched off.

Anyway, I was standing there getting more and more impatient - which is my right in a situation like that, I think - when this old drunk chap approaches me and asks for some change. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't mind giving money to a registered charity like Oxfam or the RNLI. But I do believe that there's such a thing as killing with kindness. How do you know where the money's going? On a bowl of potato soup? Or is it - and I hope you'll allow me a wild conjecture here - going towards a six pack of Tennant's Super?

With the way this guy's breath smelled, I had pretty good reason to believe the latter. And so I took the liberty of politely refusing his request for some money. And would you believe, the poor old fellow took it personally! He reacted not just by swearing in my face, but by brandishing a fist, no less! "I hope you'll be homeless one day," he said, as though it was some kind of grim prophecy. "Not much chance of that mate," I said to myself as I found my car keys in my pocket, and then took the opportunity to find a place where I could wait for David without being hassled. Namely, locked inside the car.

The problem as I see it, is that if he wasn't such an unpleasant man, he probably wouldn't be on the streets in the first place, right? Most people who find themselves without a home can usually find a friend who'll offer them a couch until they get back on their feet. It's only the arseholes who can't find anyone to help them. I'm not saying they deserve to be on the streets. I'm just...

Let me rephrase that.

They deserve to be on the streets.

Sorry if this offends any liberals out there, but I just had to get these feelings off my chest.

Goodnight all!